19 Months and 97 lbs.
I don’t know who reads my blog anymore. Turns out there are quite a few of you. Many I know, I’m sure. Many others I probably don’t. But, here’s the thing, I’m asking all of you to do me a favor- regardless of whether or not we are acquainted. I need you to hold me accountable.
I’m a big guy. I haven’t been small since I was in elementary school and even then I was still pretty tall for my age. As I got older, I also got bigger. And bigger. Then I got a “grown up” job at a desk all day and I got even bigger.
Last summer I went to visit some family in Northern California and I weighed myself for the first time in several months. I was shocked and ashamed. I didn’t know scales went over 300 lbs and I came in at 312.5 lbs. which meant, since starting my big-boy job five or six months earlier, I gained an additional 40 lbs. Excuse me! What the hell was my problem? I was already too big when I was hired and, somehow, I managed to pack on an extra four bags of potatoes.
At the time I started an immediate quest to lose weight and I was somewhat successful. Over the next six months I lost 25 lbs. I was feeling pretty good about myself and I was comfortable with my rate of weight loss. Then the holidays arrived and I fell off the bandwagon and gained back eight of those pounds. Determined to make up for the setback of the holidays, I joined Weight Watchers and lost a mere six pounds.
Now my life is in such turmoil I can’t seem to find the motivation to eat properly, exercise, or even get enough sleep.
Turns out my body is in a rut. I’m in an even bigger rut and, as as much as I piss and moan about how much I HATE being fat, I don’t do anything to change it anymore.
So, this is where you come in. I am going to keep you up to date on my goal, my successes, and I will share helpful information I find, too, in addition to my regularly scheduled blog posts.
Today marks the day I embark on the next year and a half of my life, here’s to losing 97 lbs.
Today’s Weight: 292 lbs
Goal Weight: 195 lbs
Current Loss: 0 lbs
Total Loss: 20 lbs
This Helpful Hint -
Don’t try to do it all on your own! Find support from friends and loved ones. Hold yourself accountable and find resources that are interesting to you. For me, it’s the most recent Men’s Health guide. I love the way it’s written, it’s motivating, and I feel empowered by it.
Equality and Gay Marriage: Looking Beyond Politics and Religion
Politically, the last few weeks have been alive with issues affecting the LGBTQ community.
President Obama has come out in support of gay marriage and the religious right are crucifying him and challenging his motives.
Mitt Romney hired an openly gay man as one of his spokesmen and, after also being lambasted by the religious right, he publicly fired him.
More gay teens in Utah and across the country are committing suicide because of the condemnation and bullying of their peers.
And, finally, North Carolina voters denied their gay friends and neighbors their right to marry in the voting booths.
Facebook is alive with controversy over each of these issues and I can’t believe the hate and vitriol that is spewed by both sides of the argument. The Right condemns homosexuals as deviants and the ushers of the Apocalypse while some in the gay community and their allies denounce and vilify the religious as blind bigots.
Frankly, I believe there may be truth in both camps. My goal here, however, is not to point fingers or condemn others but rather to share my thoughts and opinions while bringing a deeper depth of understanding and compassion to as many people on both sides as possible.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the church I was raised in, is by far one of the most vocal protestors of gay marriage and it is to their view that I will specifically respond.
Their stance and the manner they support it is, I believe, discouraging and un-Christlike to say the least.
In a response to a Human Rights Campaign petition, the LDS church released the following statement:
Now, unless you or someone you know and love is gay, everything the church says here sounds fine. But for those of us who are closely connected to this issue and who have friends who are in loving, committed gay relationships, there is a lot of painful rhetoric here.
The church’s stance of “separate but equal” presented in this video is as tired now as it was during Women’s Suffrage and the Civil Rights Movement.
In short, the leaders of the LDS Church have condemned gays for years as being “unnatural” and “an enemy to the family” and this dogma has filtered through the church’s membership and directly affects the relationship that parents and neighbors have with LGBTQ people in their homes and congregations.
Now, take a moment and watch another video about a gay couple who, because they weren’t afforded the protection of marriage rights, lost everything:
This video is heart wrenching on so many levels but the legal issues surrounding this man’s situation is truly one of the most telling examples of why marriage equality is essential for everyone. EVERYONE.
I understand that beliefs can be sacred and that testimonies are often deeply ingrained in some members of the church, but my question to you is why does your testimony rely on limiting the happiness and legal protection of others? Why vehemently oppose something that binds and unifies communities and cultures? How does someone else’s union affect you? Does your neighbor’s marriage directly influence your commitment to your spouse? If so, maybe the problem is with you and not your neighbor.
Just as the color of my skin does not dictate my support of equal opportunity for all races and nationalities, my gender does not predicate my support of feminism or empowerment of women. And, in that vein of thought, my sexuality does not dictate my conscience on the issue of marriage equality. Love is love and when I pledge allegiance to my flag, I truly believe it is “indivisible with liberty and justice for all.”
Fear and Love
Are our actions out of love for others and ourselves or out of fear?
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
― John Lennon
I honestly don’t have the emotional capacity to write much today. I just hope that each of us reads the above-mentioned quotation and decides where we stand on how we make decisions and how we treat others.
Far too often I hear hate speak robed in religious justification, “I’m telling you you’re going to hell because I love you.” Really? Please. From now on I think I’m going to start addressing everyone who spews judgement and hateful bile ‘Jesus Christ’ since they seem to think it’s their god-given right to pass judgement. That’s a tough cross to carry; I’d prefer to let God do it. But, to each their own I guess.
Gay Rights Advocate “Beats Up the Bible”
A very dear friend of mine posted her dissatisfaction with Dan Savage and his approach to an Anti Bullying presentation he gave while at a student journalism conference in Seattle this week. As we have debated the points back and forth, I have included some my thoughts in an impromptu post today. As always, I welcome open dialogue (especially you, Rachel). I do ask, however, that you keep your language and comments respectful to others who may read and comment, too. Thanks!
Gay Rights Advocate “Beats Up the Bible”
Dan Savage is a sex advice columnist and the gay rights advocate who started the “It Gets Better” campaign for LGBT young men and women who are considering suicide and as a way to remember gay men and women who have already taken their own lives.
This past weekend, in Seattle, Savage was asked to give an anti-bullying presentation at a conference for high school journalists. In the presentation he “beat up the Bible” (his words, not mine) and offended some of the students in the auditorium who ended up leaving his key note address.
You can see a video of his comments below and I hope you watch the video prior to commenting or condemning him one way or another.
After reading numerous conservative news outlets’ articles, lambasting Savage for his comments, and after opening up dialogue with a very dear, very conservative friend, I decided to share some of my thoughts on the video and on the principles I believe Savage was sharing.
I’m not going to touch the language portion of his dialogue because I do agree that calling a religious text that is sacred to a billion people across the globe bullshit is unnecessary and probably out of line.
However, I don’t have a problem with his approach or what he said as a whole. He is an advocate for gay rights, he’s an advocate for empowering young gay men and women, and he is a staunch defender of bullied gay teens. I don’t know what on Earth they thought he was going to discuss… But I digress.
His points about picking and choosing what to follow in the Bible is based in fact and you can find the versus he shared. The Bible supported stoning, and concubines and polygamy, and forbade shellfish and pork, and, and, and… the list goes on and on! Of course a biblical view on pork and shellfish is vastly different than biblical views on homosexuality. However, biblical views of women, menstruation, slavery, marriage, polygamy, death as punishment, etc., ARE all on equal par with homosexuality.
As the centuries turn, and mankind CHOOSES to disregard versus like these in the Bible, it becomes frustrating to hear certain groups and individuals pound their chests, using the Old and New Testaments as a “Standard of Liberty,” to condemn a minority group to hell and push so many of them to suicide. All the while disregarding the aforementioned changes; it just seems too convenient and too hypocritical. Furthermore, I do not believe that Christ or God the Father supports ignorant leaders of ANY church in their effort to squash the humanity and limit the rights of others.
I guess what it comes down to, for me, is that I don’t see a difference between a man and a woman falling in love and getting married and two men or two women falling in love and getting married. Humans are human. Human sexuality is a part of the human condition so, if someone is genetically engineered to be attracted to someone of the same sex, his or her desire to fall in love and share intimacy is no different in principle than any heterosexual couple’s desire to be loved and intimate with a spouse.
If the LDS Church (the church I was raised in), or any other church for that matter, wants to maintain a strict view on marriage and family relationships that’s fine. I don’t think, however, that it’s appropriate to classify anyone else as inferior and limit their rights and privileges. Look at Christ’s example – who did He go to during His earthly ministry? Who did He send His apostles to after His ascension? I’ll give you a hint, it was just the chosen, “elect” Jews of Jerusalem; it was the outcasts of Jewish society.
Honestly, what is the difference between the women’s suffrage movement, the black civil rights movement, and the gay rights movement of today? In principle and theory, nothing! Women were born with two ‘X’ chromosomes, they didn’t choose to be female. Blacks were born with darker skin, they didn’t choose their race. LGBT men and women are born with varying levels of same sex attraction and they didn’t choose that either!
All three of these groups of individuals were condemned and treated as second-class citizens in the Bible and that is, I believe, the point that Savage is making. Over the centuries we have started to realize that the belief and social structure of the Bible is antiquated and homosexuality is the “last big hurdle” to get over.
In the end, we all need to love more. That is the greatest commandment, right? It just seems like we forget to love our gay neighbors or the ones who believe differently than we do.
And, just as an FYI, he did formally apologize for his language which I think was very gracious of him; you can read it here.
Saving Ourselves and the Planet One Starfish at a Time
One of my very dear friends recently wrote a post on changing the world. After reading it, it made me realize I want to help make a difference, too. But, like my friend, I am only a single person and the breadth and scope of my reach seem fairly limited. That being said, however, I am still one. I can make a difference.
Do you remember the parable of the starfish? I do.
A young man was walking along a beach as the tide receded. As he walked carefully along, he began to notice thousands of starfish that had been left behind by the retreating waves.
One by one the young man gently picked up the abandoned fish and softly tossed them back into the ocean.
Eventually an older man, worn and tired by age and experience, approached him and said, “Son, there are thousands of starfish along this beach. Don’t waste your time! You will never be able to make a difference.”
The young man looked into the old man’s eyes and said, “Sir, I’m sure you’re right. I can’t save all of these fish but I promise you I am making a difference. I make a difference to this fish and everyone I have tossed back into the sea.”
Like the young man in the story, we are able to make a difference. Even if it is small and concentrated, our efforts affect those around us. Even if it’s only for one person, or one cause, or one… whatever, we have the potential to bless and lift others and improve the world around us!
Looking forward, as we remember Earth Day yesterday and look forward to spring and summer in the coming months, I hope we think of things we can do to care for others and care for our planet. We truly have an uphill battle on both fronts but, at least, if enough of us do our part the burden will become much, much lighter.
I hope you enjoy some of my favorite pictures of our beautiful planet from some of my travels. I didn’t have a lot of time to compile them but these were some of my favorites that I had handy!
Here’s to protecting Mother Earth and saving her and each other, one starfish at a time!
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ― Gandhi
Loving Ourselves and Overcoming Poor Body Image
I just finished a week-long cruise in the Caribbean. I had the privilege and pleasure of hopping from New Orleans to Jamaica. Then we skipped over to the Cayman Islands and followed it by a short stint on Cozumel and the Yucatán Peninsula before returning to port in New Orleans. It was wonderful.
This was my first cruise and I had a great time. The food was almost always amazing, the weather was nearly perfect, and the amenities and service on the ship were truly second to none. And, as fantastic as all of that was, I learned an even better life lesson. I learned I need to start loving myself, loving my body, and loving who I am – all of me.
I am a big guy; I always have been and I likely always will be. I mean, come on, I come from a long line of large people. History of Scottish heritage dictates that I should be throwing telephone poles, giant hammers, and full-grown sheep in my limited spare time. But since I don’t throw cabers, hammers, or sheep, I seem to instead throw back sandwiches, sodas, and sweets.
Anyway, as I prepared to head out on my cruise, I looked forward to my trip with excitement and even more trepidation. In my mind I had images of beautifully sculpted bodies lounging on every deck of the enormous ship and I was under the impression that the white beaches and aquamarine waves of the Caribbean would be littered with seemingly countless Greek gods and Victoria’s Secret models.
Well, let me be the first to tell you that the Adonises and swim suit models were actually few and far between. The vast majority of the people on the cruise and on the beaches are “normal,” everyday folks who have anywhere from a few extra pounds to a lot of extra pounds to lose. And, nobody seems to care what anybody else looks like. Big or bigger, everyone embraced who they are and they were happy to do it.
So, as I come away from my most recent vacation, even though the endless buffets have not been kind to me, I have promised myself I am going to be okay with that. Sure, I do have a renewed sense of wanting to exercise more and take better care of myself (again) but I am more okay with who I am and what I look like than I’ve been in years. I am finally finding peace in my own skin – all of me. It’s still a process and the natural progression will take me a lifetime to fully achieve, I’m sure. But, more importantly, I’m on my way. I hope you are too!
Tall or short, portly or thin, voluptuous or knobby-kneed, we are all beautiful and wonderful in our own way. Please remember that and, when I forget, remind me!
Gay Students at BYU and the Trevor Project
The Trevor Project is a support group that provides a free, 24-hour hotline for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender young men and women who are contemplating suicide.
In an effort to raise support for these at-risk young people, the group and some of its advocates started the It Gets Better campaign. Their efforts have resulted in thousands of YouTube videos and many other nationally-broadcast commercials that share a message of hope for a minority group of individuals who often feel abandoned and rejected by their families, friends, and churches.
Students at my alma mater, Brigham Young University (BYU), have added their support to the fray. I am so proud of these students. I am equally amazed by the strength and courage these men and women have to open up and share so many difficult experiences.
If you haven’t seen the video, I have included the link below. Similarly, if you have seen it, I encourage you to watch it again. And again. And again. And then, after you watch it again, I encourage you to share it with as many people as you can.
As we celebrate the resurrection of our Savior today, I hope and pray that we can love all of our brothers and sisters and let Christ reign as King and Judge.
As we read in John 15, “Greater love hath no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Christ died for all of us, therefore we are ALL his friends. Let us act out of love, compassion, and tolerance for all of God’s children.
